Eigengrau (#16161d) is a German word meaning ‘intrinsic light’, the uniform dark gray background that many people report seeing in the absence of light. It also describes quite formally the tonal range of the photographic series.
To name my series I employ a dictionary of terms that are imperfectly linked to the praxis of my internal visual landscape. Capturing some of the essence of dream-language, hypnagogic and/or hypnopompic audio-hallucinations, ruminations on certain aspects of my process and collated language from my mother tongue.
My practice grew out of an attempt to gain some control over my disturbed sleep cycle. Ranging from long periods of insomnia to an overpowering urge to sleep at inappropriate times it was becoming detrimental to my studies. So I started to record my dreams, I started a dream diary, drawings, research on psychoanalytic theory, Freudian and Jungian principles relating to sleep and the notion of the divided self.
Through my research and working through these issues I was able to resolve many of my sleep disturbances. For example I was able to stop having a recurring nightmare that I had been plagued by since early childhood by creating several sketchbooks worth of drawings, poetry, performances and instillation pieces. I learned how to lucid dream and was able to become an active participant in my own dreams. This was an exciting breakthrough and led to the culmination of this series of work that was to become my undergraduate degree show.